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And all I hope is that that remains a dream .



I know this has no link with the photos which I took cos I was bored... ^-^
but please
please let that dream stay as a dream.



I can't afford to loose my loved ones.
My daddy, my mommy, my grandma, my brothers, my aunties and my uncles and my friends..
I can't...
I can't cope.

I know it's part of life
I know it's something I have to face
one day
but...



if I have a choice,
if I have the ability to,
I'm all willing to be the one who goes through their pain.
I'm all willing to be the one who carries all the sickness and diseases they have.
I'm all willing to be the one who leaves before they do.


cos
they have much more things to do and experience in life as compared to mine
and I have nothing much to loose anyway -- I'm not married, I'm not attached, I have no tons of friends and neither do I have a big business which worths a million.



Cos
I own nothing much, almost nothing and has achieved nothing much, almost none.
No goals, no plans.



cos
I'm selfish
I don't want to go through the painful process of loosing someone.
cos
I'm scared of being left alone.
I'm timid and I'm a coward
so I would rather you go through the pain,
instead of me.





Knowing that they are facing difficulties in life yet I can't do much to help makes me hate myself.
a lot.
Especially when I have that much of reasons yet they can do nothing to change the fact.
























life suck.



wait,
come to think of it...
no pain
no.

Pain very pain I cannot take it








from Aunt Janet and family when they went there for holiday last month.














and a photo of me carrying Le-Han . ^-^






























Poor baby~
Know why she cry?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cos there's this scary aunty there who carried her..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
see see see
see that aunty's face,
















See these 2 Ah Mas admirning the baby.. ^^






























♥











Credits: from her mommy's awesome sony camera.






My new cousin! Her name is 乐涵 (Le-Han). ^^
Cute not? Cute not? Cute not?
And she's the smallest baby I've carried!! ^-^
as in...she's not even a month old yet. LEH!
Oh, I want her eyes~







I always thought a baby, a child, is the greatest gift every parent can get and parents will put their child above anything. Apparently, no, it's not that way. There are people who put their "Paiseh-ness" before their own child and their own family.
"Cos there's no one there I know."
That's the lousiest excuse I've ever heard in my life.
Not only he's the first guy whom I wanna bash up, he's another guy that makes me belive that I should become a nun.
HAHAHAHAHA~

-.-


kao!


真是　家家有本难念的经　啊


Actually I feel like interviewing him eh..
to find out what makes him like that..
like ask "#@^$&*#!~ WHY YOU LIKE THAT?!!"

HAHAHAHAHA~


Feel like only ah feel like..
everyone knows I'm not gonna do it.

TSK!
BUT I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT SOMEONE TELL ME WHHHHHHHHHHHY













Cos they make me forget how complicated and scary the adult world and human relations are in reality.



















Bought the ribbons at 3 for $5 and that....I don't know what's that called. It's 6 for $2.50. ^^










.









Cos I'm too afraid of losing
Cos I know how pain it is
which is why I didn't say a thing
when I actually long knew about it.
Cos I don't know what to say.
All I could think of was a hug
I wish I could but I wasn't there.
Sorry.



.




I feel so bad for not being able to be there for my loved ones every time.
Especially when they feel lonely, sad or even depressed. Especially when they need help, need a listening ear, a shoulder and need an advice.

It's worrying when someone around you, someone you know and is part of your life, be it a big part or small, said things like "Realize that there's no one for me to talk n listen to my sorrow. Only god is there for me." cos that feels scarily lonely which never leads to a good thing. It is even more worrying when you know that that person has a past that is haunting him/her, being one of the reasons for her to be like this. And I hate myself for knowing what I could do but not having the courage to do, and not doing it for many other reasons. I could only hope, pray and wish that she will be ok soon cos I am too afraid of losing.

I know what I have to face in life cos that's what every living thing has to go through but I'm just to afraid. Afraid of changes that involves removing of loved ones in my life.

I love panda.



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Contents here are by me unless referenced and stated through hyperlinks. That, includes the photos posted in this blog and my layouts. You are not to rip and redistribute any of the content here through any medium without my consent. Being able to read this again determines that you've acknowledged and agreed to the terms stated above. I trust you.

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